Friday, December 16, 2011

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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

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    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

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    Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.  ~Gloria Naylor

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    Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown

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    There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.  ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane

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    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew

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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

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    There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.  ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994







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    A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown

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    Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis

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    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson

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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby

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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope

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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain

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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

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    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown

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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth







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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane

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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997

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    I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope

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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain

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    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote

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    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown

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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane

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    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

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    Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown





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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett

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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

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    May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown

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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith

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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997

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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

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    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com









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    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown

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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown

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    It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball

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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby

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    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey

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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby

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    A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold

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    They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown







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