Saturday, December 17, 2011

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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

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    Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik

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    Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown

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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby

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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth

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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby

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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane

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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons







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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

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    The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright

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    Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown

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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni

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    I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

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    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881

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    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

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    Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis

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    They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown







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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost

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    A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold

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    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997

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    Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  ~Charles Schulz

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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope

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    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope

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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997





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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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    Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown

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    It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.  ~Johann Schiller

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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities

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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

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    It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.  ~Johann Schiller

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    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote

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    It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.  ~Johann Schiller

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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby

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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown









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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost

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    A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown

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    Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836

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    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown

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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball

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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain

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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997

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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown

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    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown

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    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown







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