Friday, December 16, 2011

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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown

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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons

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    May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown

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    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

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    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881

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    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown

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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett

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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown







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    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew

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    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown

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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett

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    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote

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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

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    Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  ~Charles Schulz

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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown

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    First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.  ~Branch Rickey

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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown

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    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown







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    Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter

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    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote

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    Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter

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    The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright

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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni

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    Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw

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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

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    Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.  ~Gloria Naylor

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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown

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    You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.  ~Author Unknown





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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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    May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown

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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown

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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown

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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball

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    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown

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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

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    Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name.  ~William Wordsworth

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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller









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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown

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    Youth is a disease from which we all recover.  ~Dorothy Fulheim

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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640

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    Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope

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    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew

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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

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    A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold

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    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown







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