Friday, December 16, 2011

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    I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.  ~Author Unknown

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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

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    Youth is a disease from which we all recover.  ~Dorothy Fulheim

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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith

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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

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    When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.  ~Mark Twain

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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997

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    Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier.  ~Dan Bennett

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    Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw







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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni

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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith

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    Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik

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    Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.  ~Gloria Naylor

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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane

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    Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby

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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

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    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson

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    Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  ~Charles Schulz







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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities

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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

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    I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith

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    Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown

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    Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik

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    Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities





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    The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.  ~Lucille Ball

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    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881

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    Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  ~Charles Schulz

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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

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    Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith

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    Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson

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    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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    You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.  ~Ogden Nash









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    It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.  ~Johann Schiller

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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

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    Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane

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    You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.  ~Ogden Nash

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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost

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    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

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    Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson

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    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost







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